Simpleigh

The following is an entry from a journal I kept last year. This particular section was written while I was on my own, attending a retreat with a church called Soul Space up in the Yorkshire Dales [hills around Bradford]. April 2, 2011 Friday, 9:31 pm "Parcevall Hall is beautiful. It's located in the Yorkshire Dales near Bolton Abbey.Even at night I can tell our surroundings will be spectacular. The Hall itself if fabulously beautiful: with it's low ceilings and wooden rafters setting the cozy ambience only an English cottage can. This place is exactly how I imagined England! There are Victorian paintings on every wall, and water colors of the Dales in every corner. We took a windy road to get here, and it was worth it... We headed to the chapel tonight which is just down the hall from me. Barbara [the pastor] said to place down all the crafts we had made and slowly let go of any out side distractions. So, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on God. ...

This week I was confronted with the question, "Are you comfortable with the bible?" Strangely, I realized my answer is no.  As I was listening to a sermon earlier, the pastor reminded those of us listening that God shows no favoritism. He backed this up by quoting the Apostle Paul in Galatians where he says, " There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (3:28)  At first this made me reflect on the radical message of equality in the bible. Later, I reminded of 1 Peter where Peter writes:  "Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, pearls, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." Can it be that we're supposed to believe both of these statements? So according to the bible,  God's design is...

I woke up today with stomach pain. Not the reasonable kind that waits until you're awake to ruin your day — the kind that kicks you awake and says, "get ready for a shitty morning!"   When I was younger I had chronic stomach pain, which ended up being ovarian cysts. Nothing serious — just painful. Gradually as I've gotten older they've disappeared. Now my stomach related issues are either the lovely side effects of too much alcohol, or gas. But the pain didn't feel like either of these. For one, I knew I hadn't been drinking on my candidacy retreat this weekend: and I haven't been eating anything so disruptive that it would give me stomach aches this painful. Unless all the Indian food I ate last year is making a late curtain call. I went into work feeling nervous and anxious for the next time a wave of excruciating knots would swell up inside of me. Half way up the escalator I felt it — a hot lead ball of pain making it hard to breath. I imagi...