Seminary

 "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.  There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called;  one Lord, one faith, one baptism;  one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."

-Ephesians 4

 Five years ago I felt God calling me into ministry. It was at the same time both completely unexpected and totally obvious. One of the first things I understood about my calling is that I am supposed to go to seminary. I've thought about it for so long, and it feels unreal to say that starting this Fall I will actually be a seminarian.

 I remember my first night of youth group; I was completely unfamiliar with the bible. I knew the apostles creed, I knew the Lords prayer, I knew how to do confession and penance... But I didn't know God loved me. I didn't' know this God I kept hearing about was real and that He cared about me. I remember the youth pastor giving a sermon, for the life of me I don't remember what he was talking about, but I was mesmerized. It's funny, I can still picture looking at other students to see if they were as in awe as I was. Mostly they were trying to tune it out. I don't blame them, they grew up hearing about this stuff; they knew God loved them and wanted to be a part of their lives. Unless you have lived without that knowledge, it's hard to appreciate what hearing the Good News for the first time feels like.

 Then I made a close knit group of friends at church. What was amazing is they were just as in love with God as I had become. They were intentional about being inclusive, honest and humble. I am still amazed with our group. People have told me we were a special bunch, not because we were especially pious or mature, because we we're authentic. We were far from perfect disciples, but damnit if we didn't try. You know when you meet someone who has figured out something true about life; they make you want to be a better person. This is what my Christ Church friends were to me. The conversations I'm interested in having began there, now they will continue (12 years later) into seminary.

 When I got back from England I realized the time was right. I heard about all sorts of seminaries. For years I've wanted to go to Fuller theological in Pasadena. Then I started thinking about Garett-evangelical in Chicago,then Candler in Atlanta, Illif in Denver, Perkins in Texas, and Wesley in DC. Finally I narrowed it down to Candler and Wesley. Actually, I decided on Candler and applied to Wesley because it sounded like me. When I got my acceptance letter from Candler I felt like smiling for the rest of my life. Then I got one back from Wesley, and I decided to really look into it before I told them I was (of course) going to Candler. 

A few weeks ago I skyped with the Wesley staff during a scholarship weekend I couldn't attend. For the rest of my life I will never forget that interview. I could feel their excitement about my story and my calling coming through the technological void. 

I visited Candler. It was great. I could see myself there, reading Thomas Merton under the the Georgia sun. The class I sat in on was fabulous. My mom put it perfectly, she said she realized I must have felt like someone was finally speaking my language. 

This past weekend I visited Wesley. Somehow I navigated my way around DC, and spent the night -freezing to death- in one of the dorms. The next day I woke up, desperately searching for coffee in my blanket cocoon, and looked out at the sun beaming down onto the spring blossoms. When I showed up at the window on Wesley event, I signed in and met some of the students and staff. When they heard my name it clicked. They remembered my application, my story, my plans for the future... The thing is I knew, I knew when I saw the chapel for the first time, this is where I am supposed to be. 

Truth be told I was disappointed. The teachers at Candler are the best in their field, and the chance to learn from them is still an overwhelmingly exciting prospect. "Why God?" I've been praying, "I can learn so much at Candler! It's challenging, and filled with lots of young people. Nobody I know has even heard of Wesley! It's a bunch of old people and commuters!" "Because," I heard Him say, "this is where you're meant or be." 

 At Exploration 2011 in Saint Louis, a guy in my small group said he didn't care what seminary he went to: it didn't matter if it was well respected, filled with intellectuals and saints, et cetera.... He wanted to go where he could meet God and learn how to be a servant. It humbled me then as it humbles me now, to have that much faith in Gods plan. I think this guy understood what Paul was talking about in Ephesians 4. God lives in all and through all. He is at work everywhere. My calling has never been about me. Wesley is the right choice because God is already at work there, and they have opened so many doors in order that I might be a part of it. 

God's telling me He's still on the throne. It's just like this last year in England; When I found out I wasn't going to South Africa I was majorly disappointed. But within a day of being there I knew I was in the right place.

Just like Radical Journey, seminary will have ups and downs. At times I will probably wish I was at Candler, and other times I will know there's no where else I would rather be. Please keep me in your prayers this next year. Its a new adventure... a big one too. Three years! I'll be 27/28 but the time I'm done with this. 

Ok, I know this post is long, but one fun fact! I went to visit the intentional community I might be living with in the fall — it's located in Chinatown. When I stepped out the front door I glanced down the street and saw a large beautiful building. Curious, I walked a block or so to get a closer look. Turns out, it's the Smithsonian.