Needed Healing

It's official, I'm a seminarian. The reality set in yesterday as I sat through my very first chapel service and class. The strangest part is how natural and yet unnatural it is to be here. In one sense I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be, which is a comforting feeling. However, in another sense, this space and process is so unfamiliar. 

I like to call this one, "Jesus Plays Hide and Seek"
Taken at the Library of Congress.

In Church History yesterday we recorded how many denominations were represented in our class. The white of the white board got smaller and smaller, as the names of every stream you can think of were put up. The spread bridged everything between Unitarian Universalist and African Methodist Episcopal church; and yet there we no practicing Catholics. I never realized before how much Catholicism has informed my religious identity. But something about being here, in the process to be ordained, feels radical. Or maybe it's the simple fact that I am a woman. A hundred years ago getting into a co-ed college, let alone seeking ordination might not have been a feasible reality. 

Nonetheless, here I am with my diverse group of christian and agnostic sisters and brothers. It seems to me Wesley is one of the most diverse seminaries out there. Having only visited one other seminary I cannot say for sure — but from what I'm told, and what I've seen, there's a good chance. My first year class is from all over the world — Africa, Korea, Pakistan, Mexico, etc... And ALL ages. There are 23 year olds and 60 year olds, all taking their first steps into religious education to support their future ministry. 

But what is the real reason we're all here? Is it so someday we get to wear sweet robes? Or so we can claim the moral high ground? Maybe it's to learn how to love people well, by studying how Jesus loved people well. It could be to learn about urban ministry or the missional church. 

It could be all or none of these reasons. But I think there's one very real reason we're all here, and it was explained to us by Dr. Sahti Clarke, a professor from India. During our orientation he said, 'we do not come to seminary to learn how to heal others. We come to seminary to heal ourselves.' And as he spoke this I felt the truth and spirit of his words sink deep into my stomach, the way true things do. I heard a woman say later that his comment was the first time she felt she had to own up to the brokenness which has led her here. The truth is that seminary is not for the people who have it all together. It's not for the people who know they can put the world back together. I see now seminary is a community of suffering people who are in need of a healing God. They are the ones who are aware the world can only be put back together by the One who is putting them back together.