Let's stop pretending poltics aren't personal.

"Clearly you are letting your politics affect your feelings."

It's true, politics affects my feelings.

Why?

Because I am a human being.

Because how you vote, what your elected representative says and does, affects REAL people. It affects their lives, their futures, their children's futures.

Leaders shape culture. They can shape a culture of hate and intolerance. Or, they can create a culture of equality and acceptance. And REAL people have to live and work and raise families in the cultures they create.

Policies shape opportunity. They can limit and deny access to resources. Or, they can build up, open up, and widen circles of care. And REAL people have to navigate how these policies will impact their well being.

Your politics, my politics,  make a difference for REAL people in every day kinds of ways. And I just happen to know some real people.

They are my
friends
peers
mentors
family
patients
neighbors
fellow citizens.

"Politics" does not exist in some world of ideas disconnected from concrete reality. To believe this is to deny that we are interconnected and shirks responsibility for how we, and the people we elect, empower or dis-empower REAL people.

"Am I my brother's keeper?"

Yes.

For you, the travel ban was nothing more than a political talking point, an ideological victory. For me, it meant comforting confused and anxious students worried about when they'd be able to see their friends and families again. It meant figuring out how to protect Muslim students, who were being physically harassed on campus by people for whom the ban was a confirmation of their political and religious biases.

For you, Charlottesville felt like an over blown confrontation about statues. And the people who showed up with torches, they were there for a variety of reasons and shouldn't be lumped together. For me, it was helping Jewish volunteers make it home safe and sheltering  injured people after a murderous car attack.

For you, Trump mimicking a handicapped reporter was harmless mockery, offensive only to the most politically correct, uptight among us. For me, it was the public humiliation and degradation of handicapped people by an American leader. Can I pretend that my father was not someone who bore the brunt of this culture of shame? Should I let you off the hook for empowering a person who disrespects his very humanity?

I wish politics weren't personal, but they are. Which is why those of us who know this to be true demand accountability from you and who you vote for. It WILL impact our relationship, because the culture/policies you are helping to create affect my relationships with lots of other people. People I care about deeply. And yes, sometimes this will mean that I need to draw lines around who and what I give my precious energies to. You may end up on the outside of that circle. And I understand that if my views and votes cause REAL harm to you, or to the people you love, that I may end up on the outside of your circle. 

The good news about all this is that refusing to pretend politics aren't personal makes us into more self reflective, empathetic people. We may still end up on different sides of the aisle, but at least we can do so with our integrity in tact.